I love Portland so much, I’m coming back again. I’ll be at Thatch this Friday night (July 25) to meet up with the local tikiphiles — you’re invited. I had the great pleasure of meeting a few local folks the last time I was in town, and I always enjoy meeting more. Come on out if you’re in the Portland area!

Thatch
2733 NE Broadway St.
Portland, OR

• Thatch, Portland [Critiki]

It’s really quite silly it’s taken this long, but I finally made it to Thatch in Portland. Of course, the Portland tiki crowd can make any ol’ hole a blast, but Thatch is hardly any ol’ hole… I love this place. First off, it’s dark, and I’m a sucker for a nice, dark tiki bar. It’s not as dark as The Alibi, of course, but I think there are sensory deprivation chambers that are brighter than The Alibi. I digress…

Thatch in Portland

What light there is at Thatch is provided by a lineup (literally — I’d actually love to see the lamps scattered a bit more) of really beautiful lamps by Kahaka, and a mess o’ pufferfish. Appropriate for the home town of the Velveteria, the place is lined with velvet paintings of varying quality. There’s a reclining wahine behind the bar who looks lumpy in good ways (boobies!) and in bad ways (I couldn’t shake the notion that her cheeks looked disturbingly like some paintings of Santa Claus). But much of the velvet there is really quite good, even great.

Also: there’s a black velvet clown. At least the clown is obvious in its wrongness, and Portland is a place that prides itself on obvious wrongness, so it sort of works in that regard, but really it’d be happier in a new home.

Clam shell originally from Portland’s Kon-Tiki

As reported earlier on Humu Kon Tiki, there are pieces from the Portland Kon-Tiki (via the recently closed Jasmine Tree) throughout Thatch — the famous three cannibal tikis of course, but also scads of other, smaller pieces that are probably better showcased here than they ever were at the Jasmine Tree.

The sunken bar is rather cool. I chatted to one of the bartenders about what it’s like to work at a sunken bar — I thought it might make the bartenders feel at a disadvantage, but he told me he actually really enjoys the intimate feeling he gets when he’s chatting with customers seated at the bar. The seating throughout much of Thatch came from an old Armet & Davis Denny’s, and it fits quite nicely. I didn’t get to spend time in the raised hut at the back of Thatch, as it was taken over by a large group by the time we arrived, but it looks like someplace I could lose many a happy evening.

The bridge entryway over a water pool works fantastically as a transition from the outside world. The bridge amazingly has no railings, but there haven’t been any drunken spills into the pool yet. Owner Robert Volz says that the absence of a rail forces even drunk people to pay a bit more attention to what they’re doing.

London Sour

I had a London Sour, which was quite tasty. Overall, the selection of drinks looked pretty good (though I wouldn’t miss the “Donkey Punch” if it left the menu… ugh). We didn’t try the food, since we’d just come from dinner (meatloaf & potatoes au gratin at the Doug Fir — yum!).

The music! The music was all spot on — lovely Exotica. I don’t know exactly what the music mix was, as I was paying attention more to the conversation of my companions… but I take that as a good sign, that the music didn’t jar me with its inappropriateness. Thank goodness.

Huge mahalos to Thatch owner Robert Volz for showing us a grand time, and to Melintur, Tiki Mama, Kim, Trader Tiki, Trott, Erik & Michele for sharing yet another memorable tiki-scented evening with me. I’m already looking forward to my return in late July!

View of Thatch from behind a tiki’s bum

• Thatch, Portland [Critiki]
• Thatch, Portland, OR (bar) [Tiki Central]
• Thatch [Humuhumu's Life in Photos
• Jasmine Tree Tiki Decor Going to Thatch [Humu Kon Tiki]
• The Alibi, Portland [Critiki]
• Kon-Tiki, Portland [Critiki]
• Jasmine Tree, Portland [Critiki]

I’ve never been to Boston — and that’s all changing, thanks to Waitiki and Beachbum Berry. That’s the one-two punch that’s got me hopping on the next red-eye to Beantown:

WAITIKI presents An Exotic Beantown Sippin Safari featuring beach Bum Berry! Pho Republique will host this exciting event, a tiki-filled evening which includes four amazing tropical concoctions available (and mixed by the Bum!), dim sum apps ala Pho, and a special photographic slideshow by the Bum about the history of these drinks. Brother Cleve to keep the beat going between sets and other surprises may follow! There will also be tiki raffle prizes given out! View the press release for more info.

For all you tikiphiles: drinks will be sourced from the original recipes of some classic cocktails found in legendary Boston tiki establishments of the past (Trader Vics, Kon Tiki Ports, etc.) Check out Beach Bum’s 2007 Salon mag interview; a hoot!

RSVP today at sippinsafari@waitiki.com as there is limited seating for this free event. Or call (617) 262-0005. Okonkuluku!

More later after my fab trip!

• Waitiki
• Beachbum Berry

Because I didn’t have enough websites: Junkyard Clubhouse! I’ve created this new site with my better half Hanford Lemoore (this is the first time we’ve done a site together, so it’s kind of neat). We both found ourselves wanting to post about weird random stuff — and shoehorning off-topic stuff into our tiki & tech blogs would be bad. So we whipped up this goofy little playground, where we can dump all the little extra bits that are cluttering up our brains, letting us stay nice & focused when we’re posting on our more respectable blogs. Who knows, maybe there’s even an audience for our brain leftovers.

Nixie tubes

Hanford’s at the Game Developers Conference all this week (I’m sticking to the GDC parties, just like last year), so he won’t be posting as much at first — but he’s already got a great post up about nixie tubes.

• Junkyard Clubhouse
• Hanford Lemoore’s blog

Aloha! I’ve got so, so much great stuff to post, but first, I have to head south for the winter — or at least for a weekend. Los Angeles, and the dulcet tones of Robert Drasnin’s Voodoo 2, are calling me.

First stop: Tiki-Ti.

We’re hitting the road now-ish, and we’ll get to L.A. in late afternoon, hopefully in time to be at Tiki-Ti not too long after it opens at 6p.m. If you happen to be in the area, please come by and say hello! I’ll be the blond chick with the bamboo handbag. (As pictured here, but the hair is shorter. On me. The handbag is bald.) A number of other folks in town for the Drasnin recording will probably be there too, it promises to be a very fun night. Tiki-Ti is kind of like pizza and sex — an off night is still fantastic, and when the night’s a winner — whoo boy.

Other stops for our weekend include Disneyland, and hopefully a pop into the Bevery Hills Trader Vic’s. We’re long overdue for a trip to L.A., I’m downright giddy.

See you all soon!

• New Robert Drasnin Album: Voodoo 2 [Humu Kon Tiki]
• Tiki-Ti, Los Angeles [Critiki]
• Trader Vic’s, Beverly Hills [Critiki]

Greetings from not-so-wintry Monolux, where we’ve been trying to squeeze in some long winter’s naps and the occasional sugarplum into our otherwise packed schedule of holiday hecticness and server coddling. Yeah, our beloved server has been under the weather, thanks to the insidious workings of spam fiends. I came thisclose to having to shut down comments on this blog. I really, really didn’t want to have to do that, and so many hours were spent troubleshooting, monitoring, and researching, until I finally taught my server some really kick-ass ninja moves, and bought it some titanium underwear. It was not easy, it was not quick, and dammit, you better make it worth my while by commenting now & again.

While that was a major PITA, it was really the only bit of stress this season in the Lemoore household, and considering that so many folks brace themselves this time of year for hassles & grief, we really have it pretty easy. We had a wonderful time celebrating and spending time with our family. My brother gave me the very cool letter opener pictured here; it belonged to our grandmother Doris, who probably picked it up in Hawaii in either ’77 or ’80. The detail on it is nice & crisp, and the blade is wickedly sharp (Grandma must have had someone sharpen it for her). I’m very happy to have it.

Last weekend we got together with Tiki Central folks at the brand-new Hula’s in Santa Cruz, which was fun. It’s been a while since we’ve had an organized get-together here in the Bay Area; so many of us meet up every Wednesday at Forbidden Island that we forget to do anything more formal, but it’s nice to step out and explore a bit. The food in particular was a hit; we’ll likely be getting together there again in the not-too-distant future.

Today, right this instant, I’m supposed to be zipping down I-5 at Hanford’s side, talking about whatever crazy project we would have cooked up (we’re always cooking up crazy projects during that six hour drive, that’s how Ooga-Mooga was born), on our way to a spectacular evening of delicious drunkeness at Tiki-Ti. It was a beautiful plan. Instead, I’m bundled up in bed, fighting off a cold. Bah. It’s not a particularly nasty cold, but I don’t want it to turn into one, so I’m laying low. Tiki-Ti will have to wait a bit. On the plus side, Hanford is taking really wonderful care of me (but then, he does that when I’m not sick).

Now we’re looking forward to spending New Year’s Eve at Forbidden Island. Providing that my bed rest plan works, it should be a great night.

Hope your holidays have been swell!

• Coco Joe’s Letter Opener [Humuhumu's Life in Photos]
• Tiki Central Get-Together at Hula’s [Humuhumu's Life in Photos]
• Get-together at Hula’s in Santa Cruz – Sat, 12/23 [Tiki Central]

This post about our trip to Hukilau has been sitting here, taunting me in its mid-drafted state, for weeks now. Just the details from the first day were already too long to be a reasonable post — a full account of the whole weekend was looking like it would be a bloated whale of a thing. I could have put it up, but who would have read such a gangly monstrosity? I just need to clear the blockage and just get going with the blog posting, fercrissakes. So to get a sense of the fantastic time we had, just check out my photos, and read the threads of Hukilau memories and pictures on Tiki Central. The only thing missing from the pictures is the afterparties — they happened out in the Atlantic ocean, under the stars, a few dozen of us in our underthings and thankfully cameraless (that includes no webcams).

On with the show, already!

• Hukilau 2006 [Humuhumu's Life in Photos]
• Hukilau Pictures [Tiki Central]
• Hukilau memories [Tiki Central]

Yesterday was Forbidden Island’s parking lot sale, and boy howdy was it crazy — in a good way. I spent the day working the booth of leftovers from the Forbidden Island build-out (all the FI employees were very busy doing what they do best — taking care of scores of guests). The weather couldn’t have been better (unusual, for Alameda), and I hear that there were about a hundred people lined up around the block to get in when the sale opened at 3pm. Everyone seemed to be having a very good day indeed — from the folks who snagged great tikis, art and vintage clothing, to the vendors who across the board seemed to be having a banner day.

Towering over the proceedings was this tiki bar, created by Nacho. Nacho had a similar massive Moai bar that he brought to Viva Las Vegas three years in a row until it was sold. He created this massive Ku bar to bring to Viva Las Vegas this past year, and it got use again yesterday, when Forbidden Island bartender Jim worked behind it making Mai Tais for the crowd. Pictures really don’t do it justice, it’s hard to get a sense of the scale of the thing — it’s about 18 feet tall, eight feet wide, and 10 feet deep. The inside is nicely decked out, too, thanks to Nacho’s friend Kahaka (the fellow who does those great lamps). There’s a thread on Tiki Central detailing the progress of the construction of this beauteous beast.

I was behind the booth all day, so I didn’t have an opportunity to chat much with folks (though I did a lot of waving and smiling). Hanford was free to roam, and he bought a snazzy lamp and an end table that perfectly matches my half-pretzel rattan living room set. I’ve put my pictures up on Humuhumu’s Life in Photos, and there are more from other folks in a thread on Tiki Central. It went so well, I’m betting there will be more sales like this one at Forbidden Island in the future.

• Alameda: Forbidden Island Parking Lot Bonanza [Humu Kon Tiki]
• Deluxe Custom Lamps by Kahaka [Humu Kon Tiki]
• Nacho’s VLV Ku Tiki Bar (updated 4/20) [Tiki Central]
• Forbidden Island: Sunday Super Sale Sept. 24th! DETAILS PG 3! [Tiki Central]
• Forbidden Island Parking Lot Bonanza [Humuhumu's Life in Photos]

The gang at On Lock Sam’s

Yee haw! This past weekend I was at Hooptylau, in California’s Central Valley. I saw the very best tiki there is to see in Stockton, Ripon, Modesto & Turlock. And there is some mighty fine tiki to be seen, indeed.

The first stop was On Lock Sam’s in Stockton, which has been in business since 1898(!), but the building it’s in dates from 1964. It’s undergone a very unfortunate remodel, but bits of charm remain — especially bartender Ray, who goes way back in the local Chinese & Polynesian restaurant scene. On Lock Sam’s is Chinese and not Polynesian, but it is neat.

Pollardville sign

The next stop was Pollardville, a roadside attraction that dates from the ’40s, on Highway 99 on the north side of Stockton. Pollardville started as a chicken stand, and grew into a full-on western sort-of ghost town (zombie town?) when they started moving buildings from other areas onto the property, including the Jamestown Jail, and the entire set from the 1958 western film “The Big Country.” In the mid-80s, the restaurant on the property burned down, and in 1987, they found a new building to replace it, which was our real reason for this stop on the tour… Stockton’s The Islander restaurant was moved from its spot in the heart of Stockton, to its final resting place in Pollardville, where it became the Pollardville Chicken Kitchen. The roofline screams “mid-century A-frame Polynesian restaurant!” while the interior screams “in 1987 we let the waitress with the most seniority decorate the place, and we haven’t changed it since!”

Former Stockton Islander building at Pollardville

Islander tiki at the
Pollardville Chicken Kitchen

The faint outline of the bar structure can almost be detected in a side room, as there’s a smidge of bamboo still lurking, but really the only thing that’s left is the tiki seen to the left here, which now is the cornerpost on a jail cell. For a time, the tiki had a twin, but he was sold into a private collection years ago. Pollardville’s 16 acres have been sold by the Pollard family to a developer, and the Pollardville Chicken Kitchen, née the Islander, is slated to be demolished in April 2007. We made the most of our time there, taking a stroll through the ghost town, hopping on the half-mile train ride, choking the Pollardville chicken, and eating a meal. Well, trying to eat a meal — Pollardville Chicken Kitchen is pretty gross, to be honest. The air was heavy with grease, which didn’t help my appetite, and the meals all looked pretty blech. I did hear from those that tried the fried chicken that it was good. I felt like I might have been better off if I’d ordered the Giblets. Now, there’s something I don’t find myself saying often.

The Dark Marq Room

Maria enjoys a Gas Siphoner

From there, we headed south to Ripon, and the home tiki bar of my friends Scott & Colleen, the Dark Marq Room. They have a beautiful collection of mugs and other items, including many pieces from the Stockton Islander. Scott makes a mean drink, and this year he unveiled his latest concoction: the Gas Siphoner. It’s a tribute to last year’s Hooptylau, during which we interrupted theives in the middle of siphoning gas out of our vans in the Minnie’s parking lot. It was delicious.

Tikis at the Modesto Tropics

From there, our horde ventured further south to Modesto, the bustling center of Central Valley Tikidom. We visited the Modesto Tropics Motel; this motel was once part of Ken Kimes’ Tropics chain, which had locations in Indio, Rosemead, Blythe, and Palm Springs. This motel didn’t grow up as nicely as its prettier, richer, better-built Palm Springs sister (better known today as the Caliente Tropics). To be blunt, it’s on the scary side. But it does have several fantastic, large Ed Crissmann tikis on the property (pictured above).

In the parking lot, but now separated by a cyclone fence, stands the Tiki Lounge, which was once the motel’s bar, but now wisely pretends to not be at all related. The Tiki Lounge has some beautiful details, including bamboo-framed huts, a freestanding fireplace, and several beautiful wahine paintings behind the bar. When we got there, it was so completely full of people and birthday balloons that the place couldn’t really be seen, so we popped our heads in quickly, then made our way to Minnie’s.

Jungle Trader tiki at Minnie’s

Minnie’s is where it’s at for tiki in Modesto. It’s a great big restaurant, and the place has got a big collection of black velvet and oil wahine paintings, by the artist Tyree. The Chinese food served there is actually quite good, much better than the cocktails (the signature drink there is “the Jerk” — essentially a strawberry slurpee with 151 poured down the straw). The lighting there needs work — there are spots in the bar that are either too dark, or too bright, giving it a sort of bare-lightbulb vibe. But the place is full of character, and well worth a visit. Try to hit it earlier in the evening, when you can get food, and the jukebox isn’t blaring too loud to have a conversation.

Vic’s backyard oasis

Sunday morning, we eased back into the land of the living at Vic’s home in Turlock. Vic is a landscape designer and tiki carver (his company is Tiki Jungle), and it shows. His backyard is just beautiful, full of tropical plants, waterfalls, streams, koi, and tikis. This summer he added a swimming pool, which we all sat on the edge of and dipped our feet into.

Hooptylau 2006 artwork by Chongolio

Hooptylau was organized by Scott, Colleen and Vic, and they did a stupendous job — it was huge fun. I’ve been to all three Hooptylaus, and it’s one of my favorite annual events — very goofy, very silly, very tiki, and the smallish size makes conversation easy and fun. This year, in keeping with the tiki-goes-trashy-country theme, they created a take-home mix CD of all-country tiki tunes, with cover art by Chongolio. We listened to it the whole way home, there are some real gems on it.

My hair doesn’t even fit in the picture

I’m pleased to report that I managed to snag the “I Can Dress Myself” award, along with my friend Bill — I had ratted my hair out into the most astounding bouffant hairdo, it was like cotton candy, I tell you what. It felt a little weird to have my hair up off my neck without having it in a ponytail or a bun of some sort.

For more lowdown on the hoedown, check out my pictures, Chongolio’s blog entry, and the thread on Tiki Central.

• Modesto: Hooptylau 2006 [Humu Kon Tiki]
• Pollardville
• The Islander, Stockton [Critiki]
• The Dark Marq Room, Ripon [Critiki]
• Tropics Motel, Modesto [Critiki]
• Tiki Cocktail Lounge, Modesto [Critiki]
• Minnie’s Restaurant, Modesto [Critiki]
• Tiki Jungle
• Lost-Isle
• Hooptylau 2006 [Humuhumu's Life in Photos]
• Hooptylau 2006 [Barefoot Bloggin']
• hooptylau 2006 — the un-tiki tiki event – [Tiki Central]

Ah, another August goes shooting by. Earlier in the month, I was in Internet-free Downieville, a wee little almost-ghost-town a few hours from pretty much anything, in the Sierras. It’s very pretty, but it ain’t tiki, so that’s all I’ve got to say about it here.

After that, we headed out to Walt Disney World for a whole week. My two previous trips to WDW have been woefully short, and the last one was curtailed by an unfortunate double-whammy of a terrible cold and an asshole who thought it would be funny to s#!t all over Tiki Central, requiring us to spend the day in the hotel room doing emergency cleanup duty. But this was a much happier trip — a whole, solid week, happily unencumbered by illness or delinquents. Even with that much time, we felt we had about a week more in us — there was still so much to see and to do. It was hard to leave.

The reason for our trip — not that it really would take a reason to bring us to a Disney park — was to visit with some old friends from Hanford’s LucasArts days, who are now working on an R & D Imagineering project at Epcot. The project was being tested with the public, and we came out to be guinea pigs, and to spend some quality time with them. The project is called Team Possible (based on the Kim Possible animated series on the Disney Channel), and it’s an interactive all-over-the-park game that uses a handheld “Kimmunicator” (actually, a high-end cellphone) to send you on a scavenger hunt of sorts. I don’t want to give away any more than that, but I will say that it was really fun, even though we’re not acquainted with Kim Possible. It was very well-integrated into World Showcase, so that anyone not playing the game would never know there was anything new there. It was a great way to see the park, and we saw all sorts of things we otherwise would have missed. Our experience was great, and hopefully they’ll use the concepts and technology they had in this test for a more permanent game of some sort. If you’d like to know more, keep an eye on Hanford Lemoore’s blog, he’ll likely be making a more detailed post about it soon.

Pre-show lanai at the Enchanted Tiki Room in Orlando

Pre-show tiki

But on to the tiki… we passed on seeing the Enchanted Tiki Room show there (the “Under New Management” version there is painful, simply painful, watch it at your own risk), but we did spend some time at the building it’s housed in. The building itself is very impressive, and full of delicate details — and, the lanai plays Exotica classics in a loop, including Martin Denny. The pre-show on the lanai is very different from the one in Anaheim, but there are a few of the Anaheim lanai tikis to be seen there. In addition, the entrance to Adventureland has a number of great tikis and shields, and there are some fantastic tall slit-drum tikis that spit water near the Enchanted Tiki Room.

‘Ohana restaurant at the Polynesian Resort

Tikis and carved poles
at the Polynesian Resort

The best Polynesian Pop to be seen at Walt Disney World is at the Polynesian Resort, near the Magic Kingdom. The Polynesian Resort has been there since WDW first opened in October 1971. It’s a large resort, with over 800 rooms in 11 different “longhouses” named after Polynesian islands. The pool area has a volcano with a built-in water slide. The main building houses ‘Ohana restaurant (which also has a bar, serving tropical drinks including a Tropical Itch, complete with backscratcher), and has some neat tikis, masks, war clubs and other carvings, and plenty of bamboo. The hotel also has a luau and Polynesian floor show, called Spirit of Aloha, in one corner of the grounds.

Bar at ‘Ohana restaurant

That’s about it for tiki at Walt Disney World… should I also mention the nearly-tiki stuff? (Shades eyes with back of hand) Wait a minute… (folds ring finger down) I love that idea.

Typhoon Lagoon

There are two more things at Walt Disney World that are not quite tiki, but tiki-friendly, to be sure: Typhoon Lagoon, and the Adventurer’s Club. Typhoon Lagoon is one of WDW’s two water parks, and it has a well-executed shipwreck theme. The vegetation is thick, and vintage surf tunes are played throughout the park, except for the fish & chips bar (where they sold “fish & chips w/fries” — no joke), which plays great sea shanties. Who doesn’t love a good sea shanty? The Adventurer’s Club is one of the nightclubs in Downtown Disney, and is themed as a 1937 private club for, well, adventurers. A crew of talented improv comedians mingle and entertain through the whole evening, putting on periodic shows. The walls are positively encrusted with dusty artifacts, including a few tikis, and even a decidedly post-1937 pupu platter in the Treasure Room.

Adventurer’s Club

I could go on and on about all the great things at Walt Disney World (Expedition Everest is beautiful! Canada is a lifetime journey for the traveller! Mocking Steven Tyler is fun!), but I won’t. Instead, take a gander at photos from my trip, and check out the updated entries on Critiki.

• Walt Disney World 2006 [Humuhumu's Life in Photos]
• The Enchanted Tiki Room, Orlando [Critiki]
• Disney’s Polynesian Resort, Orlando [Critiki]